blxiaojie

Hmmm

2005-11-20T08:45:24Z

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm making the right decision. Whether it's going to an even when I feel like I'm going to pass out, and staying at the event instead of picking up the car from my brother so that I can easily find parking, or... many other things, it's difficult to determine if those "miniscule" decisions have a larger impact than one would think.

I need to focus.

Things are pretty good overall.

The weather is beautiful.

I hope that things continue to go well.

Busy Busy Busy`

2005-10-19T00:46:57Z

I've decided that since I'm too busy to update with a substancial post, instead I'll use the LJ as a to-do list for myself since hardly anyone reads this anyway.

Tonight:
Call Coordinators again, and e-mail them about upcoming events
E-mail G.A.'s
Put up labels for mailboxes
LS Stuff
Study DAT
Send Project Plans

19Wed:LD
Start on CPR Peer Review
Study for LS quiz
Study for DAT

20Thursday:
Class
Tutoring 11:15-12:15
Class
Training at 4pm
Study for DAT

21Friday: Family night/306
Study for DAT

22Saturday: Work
Study for DAT

23Sunday: ASC Scholarship Reception 2:15 pm to set-up (Business attire)
Pizza?/ Study/ Tape Desparate Housewives & Grey's Anatomy b/c I have no time to watch it
Study for DAT

24Monday: LS1 MT 5-7
Study for MCDB quiz
Study for MCDB/14D
Study for DAT

25Tuesday: Quiz for MCDB
Study for MCDB
Study for 14D
Study for DAT

26Wednesday: Review session for 14D?
Study for MCDB
Study a little for 14D
Study for DAT

27Thursday: MCD Midterm
Study for 14D
Study for DAT

28Friday: 14D Midterm
Freedom.
Study for DAT

Sentiment

2005-10-11T06:07:15Z

"Along with the times we're feeling good about who we are, we can experience times when we're feeling bad about who we are. That's just a part of being human. It's true that we take a great deal of our own upbringing on into our adult lives and our lives as parents; but it's true, too, that we can change some of the things that we would like to change. It can be hard, but it can be done."
~The World According to Mister Rogers

he is a wise man.

Irony

2005-10-04T06:34:46Z

It is extremely ironic that this quote was displayed in my "The World According to Mister Rogers" tear away calendar today.
"We reason that if we're perfect, if we do a perfect job, we will receive perfect love! We further believe that if we're not perfect (and, of course no one is), we might lose the love of people who mean the most to us."

I feel like I've been imperfect, and I'm being reprimanded for my actions.

Turn of Events

2005-10-04T04:14:00Z

Things were going so well, in almost all respects. Something has happened now, "a turn for the worse," so to speak.

I almost feel like crying, just based on the fact that there's nothing that I can do about it.

They say not to worry, and I told them that I'll be strong, but it's so hard.

I can't take it.

"food is not all i see in u"

2005-09-29T22:08:29Z

From my "hao Peng you" Nala:

A y C e e H (3:00:00 PM): i just reallized u dont have dorm food anymore
(3:00:17 PM): haha
(3:00:21 PM): so u don't want to talk to me
(3:00:24 PM): thanks.
(3:00:25 PM): heh.
A y C e e H (3:01:33 PM): yeah... goodbye friend
(3:01:46 PM): ur mean!
A y C e e H (3:02:21 PM): haha
A y C e e H (3:02:27 PM): jk
A y C e e H (3:02:45 PM): food is not all i see in u

in other news,
class was good today. My demo was cancelled. A good start to a good week. Oh, and Bebe has good sales :-x. I'm such a sucker. I initially entered the stoer to avoid the heat. Oh boy, at least I'm making some money.

Some insight that was initially out of sight.

2005-09-16T22:12:01Z

"It's the things we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference in our lives."

"True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit of what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

Other quotations by a famous someone...
which I just came upon today actually...
I love the subtle things that are first unseen. They are like finding small treasures or presents that you can unwrap one by one.

"I write real messy."
"Rm #111 says HI"
"_____ says hi. and that 'Amber Romance' is romantic"
"Raspberry almonds... yummmmm..."
"BOO! Scared ya!"

:-D

2005-09-15T08:09:35Z

Still no internet for my room's computers and my laptop doesn't pick up the wireless. *sigh*

The Grove is a really nice place.

So "cuh-ai"

wo shi-huan . . .

"Shia Tian"

2005-09-12T00:19:41Z

This whole summer has gone by in a blur. It has been fun nonetheless, but it will be hard for me to pin point the fun times. For instance, this weekend was kicked off on Thursday when Ed and I went shopping for gifts for Jo and Pe. For some reason, I had a lot of fun. Perhaps it was the company that I was with. I'm really glad that Ed is nearby so we can hang out throughout the year. Our lovely neighbors, Jo, Gr and An cooked us a delectable dinner. It was so cute how they set the table and the dishes were actually matching. It was quite relaxing as well. I will miss their company next year.
Later on, Ta, St, An, Li and I went to Jo and Pe's party where I got to see my former roommate and the rest of my C-side friends. I never realized how infrequently I would see them until this summer. Although geographically we are close to one another, it's really hard to see them because of inconvenience. Nonetheless, I had a good time watching my friends get tipsy and become quite entertaining to say the least. The cops came and broke up the party, which was highly unfortunate, but I suppose it was expected because the music was "loud." People get so touchy when they're drunk. It's quite awkward, but I guess it's expected. All in all it was a fun night. I was really happy to see my friends.

On Friday, Ly, Gr and I went out to dinner. We had some good Thai food which we were unable to finish. Then, we went to hang out at Jo, Ra and Gr's. We were just chatting and up and stuff, when we decided to make carrot cake. We had to go to Ralph's to pick up some ingredients, and we realized that in fact it cost more to make the cake than to buy it! That was surprising, but I guess we got to make the cake at least? So at 1 or so we made the cake and brought it over to the neighbors. While we (Ly, Gr and I) were making the cake we were supposed to watch Anchorman. That didn't happen because it took so long to make the cake, but that's all right.

On Saturday, we were supposed to go kayaking at Marina del Rey, but unfortunately for us, there was no parking! So as we circled the lot a few times, we decided to do something else. Someone proposed the idea of going to a breakfast place, whose name escapes me right now. We had omelets and pancakes and played with the little kid crayon set. At night, we celebrated my brother's birthday at Saddle Ranch. The food was so so, but it was really good to see my brother in such a happy state. He was so surprised that over 25 of his friends took the time to celebrate his birthday. He even commented it was his best birthday ever. I bought him a dress shirt, and I think that he liked it a lot because he put it on right away. Although I am pretty broke from his birthday celebration (at the restaurant we were low on money for the bill), it was well worth it to see him smile that much. To see him happy makes me happy, and it was evident in the fact that he called my parents the following day, raving about his birthday party. I really love my brother. Thank you to Jon for driving me to and from the party. It was nice to have a fellow under 21-year-old around during the dinner. Afterwards, I went next door to chill. I watch Anchorman for the first time, and realized that it's not nearly as funny as Wedding Crashers. Stayed up talking. Good times.

Sunday, I woke up and stuff. Later, Mommy and Daddy came and brought me some stuff, including a working computer and some hawaiian clothes and snacks! It was really nice to see them. Ginabear came up to visit. It was really exciting to see her. I haven't seen her since June. It's been way too long. She slept over and we just got to catch up. It was a good time. We tried watching Igby's something or other, but it was too foreign so we didn't watch it. We just went to sleep.

Monday, we had a black out. It was strange because I thought the Tv broke on me, but in actuality, the power went out. It sucks because our internet no longer works. I am "corresponding" via the neighbor, R's, computer. Macs are so much cooler looking than PC's, maybe i should get one. *sigh*. I went shopping as well with Ginabear and we found really great deals. Who knew that you could get a shirt for 1.99 in the US! Banana Republic is one of my favorite stores. I <3 it. We ended the night by watching National Treasure with several bathroom breaks. We stayed up late talking about everything from the rule of 5 to the 6 connection movie stars game.

Tuesday, woke up very exhausted, and then ate lunch. Following lunch I watched Bridget Jone's Diary 2 with Tabby, who was supposed to be studying, but it was her lunch break. Linda came home shortly after as I was watching Family guy. Then we went shopping again, and I realized that the deals that i got on monday were much better than on Tuesday. I only found one thing, but it was a cute zip up hoodie from Urban. Before yesterday I had never made any purchases at urban, but now i've made 3. Then we made dinner, which consisted of too much meat. Afterwards, we went over here to watch Gilmore girls. I am impressed and surprised that R is such A Gilmore Girls buff.

"Worldly Advice"

2005-09-08T20:56:13Z

The World According to Mister Rogers

Sept 3/4: You rarely have time for everything you want in htis life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.

Sept 5: The thing I remember best about successful people I've met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they're doing... and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they're doing, and they love it in front of others.

Sept. 7: Forgiveness is as important to our emotional well-being as being able tot wait for what we want or to cope with stress. Like most of the important inner strengths in life, the ability to forgive (to let go of resentments, to give up being an accuser) takes root early in our becoming.

Sept. 8: You don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you. When I say, "It's you I like," I'm talking about that part of you that know sthat life is far mor ethan anything you can ever see or hear or touch... that deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survivie: love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.

Failure

2005-09-08T00:18:15Z

You know when all respects of your life seem like they are going well, when all of a sudden, you realize that things really aren't that great, especially in the areas you would not expect it.

I can't believe I screwed up. I feel like such a failure.

Literally.

I suppose I will have to make the most of my time now...

:)

2005-09-07T16:41:00Z

I had a really sound sleep last night. Even though I only got three hours, for some reason I woke up realizing that I had a really good sleep, so therefore I don't feel as tired.

I wonder what caused this sound sleep...

I hope that it occurs more often.

blxiaojie @ 2005-09-02T13:58:00

2005-09-02T21:09:45Z

A conversation with "he-who-shall-not-be-named" hahahahhahahahahhahahaha...

WORDS OF WISDOM:
R(1:53:08 PM): naw but the length doenst' determine it
R(1:53:23 PM): it's vice versa
(1:53:23 PM): well...
(1:53:37 PM): either way
R(1:53:37 PM): man this is a gay conversation
R(1:53:38 PM): hahaha
(1:53:39 PM): hahahaha
R(1:53:39 PM): but i dun care
(1:53:40 PM): it's ok
(1:53:42 PM): u are
(1:53:43 PM): ...
(1:53:44 PM): special
(1:53:45 PM): :-)
(1:53:50 PM): haha
R(1:54:12 PM): i swear...if u post this shit on xanga or sum shit...i...
R(1:54:19 PM): will probably go cry somewhere
(1:54:57 PM): how about my profile
(1:54:58 PM): hahahaha
(1:55:16 PM): how about i take out ur sn
R(1:55:58 PM): fine wutever
(1:56:10 PM): :-)

. . .
(1:56:21 PM): i know!
(1:56:22 PM): lol
(1:56:25 PM): i'm nto that dense...
(1:56:26 PM): GOD
R(1:56:26 PM): oh
R(1:56:32 PM): ididnt' think u were...
(1:56:34 PM): just b/c u are in med school doesn't mean ur better
(1:56:35 PM): hahahahhaa
R(1:56:37 PM): hey wtf
R(1:56:40 PM): i dun think that
(1:56:47 PM): i'm jk
(1:56:48 PM): sorry
(1:56:54 PM): u can't tell sarcasm on aim...
R(1:57:01 PM): geez...plus ur post d.d.d.s or wutever...that's more hardcore
(1:57:07 PM): hahahahha

Fortune

2005-09-01T05:05:22Z

When things ever are looking down, just tilt your head up just a little bit because things will look a little brighter if you do.

I can't wait till Friday because I won't have any more midterms for the summer!

Happy Birthday Cole (Sept. 1st).

errors

2005-09-01T00:33:47Z

i cut my finger with a knife today while chopping vegetables...

it hurts...

:-\

i think it's the second time on my life that i've ever done this...

how embarrassing... or sad or both

LJ

2005-08-31T09:06:41Z

K (1:54:58 AM): secret to a good lj
K (1:55:01 AM): talk about what you do
K (1:55:03 AM): not what you think
me (1:55:07 AM): huh?
K (1:55:08 AM): save that for a xanga =P
K (1:55:12 AM): hahah.
K (1:55:19 AM): lol.. iono...
me (1:55:20 AM): what?
K (1:55:32 AM): well i was reading ur lj
me (1:55:35 AM): ok
me (1:55:36 AM): and...
K (1:55:46 AM): annnddd
K (1:55:49 AM): you should talk about what you do
me (1:55:56 AM): haha
K (1:55:57 AM): it makes it more interesting to the reader
me (1:55:58 AM): y?
me (1:56:00 AM): lol...............
me (1:56:02 AM): now i know
K (1:56:05 AM): im jesss SAYYYINg.
K (1:56:06 AM): all the good ljs
K (1:56:17 AM): do that. haha...
K (1:56:24 AM): u can comment on ur thoughts all you want
K (1:56:25 AM): in ur xanga.
K (1:56:29 AM): cuz i hate xangas =)O

I suppose people will find this interesting because it conveys how bossy Kevin is. Muahahahhaha...

How's that for interesting!

Okay... back to work...

Economics

2005-08-28T19:29:26Z

You know how in High school or college you studied Economics?- The theory that to each decision that you make, you must consider your opportunity costs and benefits.

I wonder if some decisions that you make, you cannot discern the costs and benefits. What if the different components of the costs and benefits are hard to weigh? I suppose when it comes to the decisions that pave the way to your future cannot be decided via economic theory. You must go on instinct as to the way you feel at the moment. You can't always use economics to make decisions.

I think I should have used instinct in a previous decision I made...

Should I look back?...

I don't want to be wrong... but I don't want to have lost something uniquely special.

On another note... my brain has been quite active lately... however that only occurs when I'm sleeping...

I keep having dreams...
I dream about the next time when we will meet. How will we act. Will we resume our normal actions, or will it be entirely different?
I will miss the way it was, but I look forward to more good times ahead.

Enough about economics... organic chemistry calls :-\.

Livejournal

2005-08-27T06:39:52Z

I'm starting to get the hang of this thing. It's definitely not as simplified as Xanga is, but it is a lot simpler in the same respect. You don't pop-ups telling you how to update.
This... is like the "grown-up" xanga. haha okay that was a little corny.

It's boring to sit at home...

I need a job,

I need to study more efficiently.

I will update with something more substancial later.

Mistakes

2005-08-26T08:43:56Z

Do you ever consider the mistakes that you make and fail to fix. Often times you realize that you've made a mistake when it's too late. So, you give up, you stick up that white flag and declare your defeat.

I feel like I was defeated.
I didn't put in as much into it as I should have.
The "battlefield" was unequal.
And when I realized how far behind I was compared to the other... I admitted defeat...
I never meant to lose this "war." I always wanted a mutual combat.
I felt like my attempts at "fighting back" would do no good.
It's like we were in a race, and I was too far behind...
I am sorry for not being up to par.
I am sorry for not giving it my all.
I am sorry for not opening up so much.
I am sorry for not letting love escape my heart.

Bored

2005-08-26T06:51:35Z

So, since I cannot log into xanga on this computer and I forgot my password to my old live journal, I decided to create a new one so that I can log my current sentiments, etc. so that I don't forget them for future reference. I will use this is as my outlet to outpour my feelings...
even if I'm the only one who reads this.

Something is missing... I don't know if I can put a finger on it for sure. Was it missing before or is it a new development that has surfaced just this month? It is good to see friends and chat it up, yet, something is missing. I often go to bed at night feeling unfulfilled. Perhaps this sentiment is caused by my sheer laziness that I demonstrate when I attempt to "study."

I long for the nights when I didn't have to worry about school, about grad school, about money; I miss my escape from reality. I realize that people have commenced the time in their life when they return to "reality." They will soon realize that "Formosa Study Tour" was just a 4 week trip with complete strangers whom were forced to spend time together. I hope my theory is wrong, in that we do continue to keep in touch, even if it's a simple hello even once a month.

Another theory:
Is it that my life is so mundane because I have so much free time aside from class? Of course I could maximize this time by studying, but who really does that? I think it'd be a little excessive for me to study as much as I say I am, but sure it'd be beneficial. I would love to do fun things and just play around, but I need to do something productive. I think I need a job...

On the same note, I kind of wish my life could return to simpler days, such as those of freshman year where grades mattered, but friends seemed to matter more. I think all too often we consume our lives trying to achieve our goals and we don't stop to thank those who've helped us achieve them. I hope that I can keep up the friendships that I've made along the way, no matter how far away those friends reside.